The lies we believe about ourselves

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I am teaching the Middle School Sunday School girls once a month and this Sunday I was teaching about  The lies we  believe about ourselves  taken from chapters of the book: Lies Women Believe: And The Truth That Sets Them Free {An excellent book by the way. Highly recommended!}

The one that I underline is when I put blank space at the students note, where they got to write down the answer.

Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Abundant life: Free, Joyous, Contented, Loving, Radiant, Confident, Gracious, Peaceful, Stable.    

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery," Galatians 5:1
What we believes ultimately determines how we live.  If we believed on lies, we will act on that lie; believing and acting on lies leads us into bondage. Lies such as...

A. I'm not worth anything...
Our view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes. the input of others is accurate and helpful. But not always like what happened to "Mindy":

I have a memory of being six and being told that I had no right to live and I should have never been born. I don't remember who said it, but I do remember my mother just standing there and not doing anything about it. I became very withdrawn, and it was extremely difficult to talk to people. 
By the time I was to start seventh grade, it was decided I belonged in special education. I was accepted into the classes, bu there wasn't room, so I went to the normal junior high school. I never believed I belonged there.
Until this weekend, I have believed I was stupid, not normal, and I should be locked away somewhere. In junior high, I had no friends, and people went out of their way to hurt me. As a result, I withdrew even more, became very depressed, and wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

This story illustrates the progression we have seen that leads to bondage. First, as a child, the woman was told a terrible lie, then she listened, rather than countering with the Truth, she dwelt on it and believed it was true. Ultimately she acted on the lie, until she found herself in bondage to the lie. Believing in a lie will put us  in a bondage. Believing the Truth will set us free.

The truth is: Psalm 139: 13-14
"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
   your works are wonderful,"
* Our value is not determined by what others think of us or what we think of ourselves. Our value is determined by how God views us.

When God sent Jesus to bear yours sin and mine on the cross. he put a price tag on us - He declared the value of our soul to be greater than the value of the whole world. Whose opinion are you going to accept? 

B. Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty...
TV, movies, music, magazines, books, and ads promotes this idea that what matters most for ladies is beauty - physical beauty.
Even parents, siblings, teachers, and friends sometimes add unwittingly to the chorus: "darling" children get oohs, aahs, and doting attention, while less attractive or gifted children may be the objects of unkind comments, indifference, or even rejection.
Remember: What we believes ultimately determines how we live.  The result of believing in this lies = Comparison, envy, competitiveness, sexual additions, eating disorders, immodest dress, flirtatious behavior. Only the Truth can overcome the lies we have believed. 

God's Word tells us the Truth: 
Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." 
* Physical beauty is temporal and fleeting

1 Peter 3:3-4
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."
* The beauty that matters most to God is that of my inner spirit and character.

1 Timothy 2:9-10
The women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

No where in the Scripture condemn physical beauty or suggest that the outward appearance does not matter. What is condemned is taking pride in God-given beauty, giving excessive attention to physical beauty, or tending to physical matters while neglecting matters of the heart

Don't be afraid to be feminine. We are a child of God.
The outward appearance of Christian women is to reflect a heart that is simple, pure, and well-ordered; her clothing and hair styles should not be distracting or draw attention to herself by being extravagant, extreme, or indecent. This way, she reflects the true condition of her heart and her relationship with the Lord, and she makes the gospel attractive to the world.

C. I can't help the way I am...
We see things about ourselves we wish were different or that we know are not pleasing to the lord. but rather than accept personal responsibility for our own choices, attitudes, and behavior, we have 101 reasons for why we are the way we are:
- Our house is so tiny, everything gets on my nerves.
- I have too much things to do, I can't help being irritable.
- I'm so exhausted; I just can't function.
- My family never dealt with problems; we just stuffed everything inside and pretended like nothing was wrong. To this day, I can't really confront issues."
- My parents never affirmed me, and I've never been able to feel loved.
The implication of all these statements is that others have made us the way we are-that we are merely victims, reacting to wounds inflicted on us by others.

2 Corinthians 12: 9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Zechariah 4: 6 "Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty

The truth is we do have a choice. We are responsible for our own choices and we can be changed through the power of God's Spirit.

What lies have you believed about yourself?

What specific action do you need to align your life with the Truth?

We then close the lesson by reading the Punchinelo story here


  1. Thanks for sharing your story Kiki, so brave of you. Lovely to find your blog. Blessings to you.

  2. Ooh I tend to fall into that trap of I can't help the way I am and yet expecting great change from others.... hmmm... convicting.

  3. @Heart n Soul: This is not my story actually... I just summarize the lesson for teaching Middle School Sunday School from the chapters of the book: The Lies Women Believe. :)

    @Court: yes...yes... me too :((