Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Five best parenting advises I have ever received

Note: I am a Christian so most of these advises came from Christian's world view or perspectives. However, if you are a parent with different belief, you may also find some of these to be helpful. Thanks for reading!

1. Pray about it. - from Max's Chinese teacher 
I was dropping my first born at his Chinese class and the baby happened to fell asleep on the way. Knowing that we had chance to talk, his Godly teacher asked, "How are you? Do you have any question?" My son was just turned four then and that week we were struggling with him kept giving reasons, excuses, or simply refused when we asked him to do something. I was tired of having to ask, explain, train, and discipline over and over again. So I asked for her advise on how to handle the situation after all she has raised 3 boys. 

 In her usual sweet and gentle voice she replied, "Pray about it." She then went on saying, "Pray for wisdom, patience, and changed hearts. I personally take it as a good thing that he start communicating his opinion but on the other hand he also need to learn to obey. We need to ask God's wisdom."


So we prayed and we began to see that so often it was us who are impatient to teach, train, or explain. We were often in the rush and forgot that our kids are not robots.

About a year later, I asked her advise on different matter "How to handle siblings' fight?" At that time Max and Wes was fighting every day about every five minutes. It's so hard to get things done. She gave a few tips like giving them warning, "If you can't play together than I have to take the toy away"; Asking them to take turn by setting timer, and so on but at the end she emphasized, "Pray about it." She shared there was a period when her boys kept fighting with each other and she prayed about it then suddenly one day she realized the fighting has stopped. 

So we prayed. And you know what? One day we realized that the boys fight less and less. Our God is still in the business of answering prayers indeed! 
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:5
 
2. Think of yourself like a farmer  - from an older Titus 2 woman
Each plant blooms in different season. Be patient! Our job is to be faithful in planting the seeds, watering, and pulling out the weeds but only God, who makes things grow in His time. {1 Corinthians 3:6-7}

3. Do unto them as you would like your parents do unto you. - from Mom Heart Conference
Give them grace just as our Heavenly Father has been gracious to us. 
Each child is unique therefore, get to know and seek to understand your kids. Each one has different personality, learning style, strength, and weakness. Speak their "love languages" to fill their love tank.

4. Love your spouse. also from Max's Chinese Teacher.
 She shared this on her e-mail to the all the parents: 
"These past two days, I have been deep-cleaning the class room.
Yesterday afternoon when I was scrubbing the little chairs, my heart and prayers went to these precious children....
They are very young at this moment, yet some day soon they will be grown-ups, just like you and me.
The best gift we, as parents, can give to our children is not sending them to outstanding schools, not to the ballet class, not accumulating wealth for them,... 
----  but to keep a harmonious/sweet relationship with our spouses.
It has never been easy for me, yet it is the right thing to do and it is well worth it!
After all, it is the spouse, not children, that we will spend the rest of the life with." : )

5. Children learn more from what you do than what you say. - also from Mom Heart Conference
Picture a mom who just yell at her kid then when the kid yell at his sister, the mom said, "Be gentle to your sister!" It doesn't work.
-> If you want for your children to be polite, be polite to them
-> Be grateful if you want them to be grateful
-> Serve them, if you want them to serve others.
-> Be considerate/ unselfish otherwise they can't care for others. 

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