Monday, November 2, 2009

Five Language of Love


I read this book many years ago before I got married. I love it! It's very helpful not only for couple but for friends or family as well to be able know our own and our love ones' love language that way we can "communicate" our love in language that the other party understand. The author believes everyone has a love tank, and that tank is filled by five different love languages.

Those Five Love Languages that communicate love for someone are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gift
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

We tend to give love in the languages we are most fluent in, which usually ends up being the languages that fill up our love tank. I remember one particular story from the book about a married couple who went for a counseling. The wife felt that the husband doesn't love her anymore. The husband said he did everything he could to let her know that he loves her, from working hard, cooking, house cleaning, doing laundry, etc..., which made the counselor wonder what does the wife do then? It turned out the wife's love language is Quality Time, where as the husband - you guest it - Acts of Service. No wonder she felt unloved, he was too busy doing things for her instead of spending time with her. :)

Chris' love languages are Acts of Service & Quality Time, where as mine are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. This book has definitely helped us to communicate our love more effectively.

I need to be careful however, whenever I read marriage books because I then tend to focus on what Chris isn't doing instead of appreciating many things that he does. Men show their love and affection in many different ways. As for my husband, he works hard to provide for our needs, helps around the house, takes care of Max, and fixes anythings that need to be fixed. And the craziest thing of all is the fact that he still loves even though he knows my many flaws. Thank you dear!


"When it comes to marriage, don't fight to protect yourself or constantly analyze whether your husband is meeting all your needs. The only thing you need to carefully protect is your daily time in Christ's presence. As you follow the example of Christ and pour out your life for your husband, you will discover a greater joy than any amount of self-focus could ever bring."  Leslie Ludy from her book: Set Apart Feminity

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