Prioritize: Patient & Gentleness Series #8

Thursday, October 30, 2014

I am currently reading this book: Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, a New York Times Bestseller book by Crystal Paine, the founder of

In the beginning chapters in her book, she specifically wrote about stop trying to do it all and focusing on most important priorities in our life.

One of the big thing I learned when I was on bed rest when I was pregnant with Wesley was to prioritize. I am so thankful that I learned it before I had two kids otherwise I would be overwhelmed with many commitments and lost my patient easily. 

Starting when my first born turned two I got asked, "Which pre-school does he go to?  You should put him in music, art, gym class, story time, soccer, awana, ..."
While I am sure, he could learn from all those activities, we didn't commit to any of those until he was four. The reason besides I love teaching him myself, I just had a baby and it would takes a lot of work if I have to bring the baby in tow to any those activities. We ended up having a blissful year learning at home, occational play date, and outing but that's about it. Max went to a bilingual preschool twice a week after he turned four.  

As for myself there are many great things that I can do, get involved, or learn: women bible study, volunteering at school, church, local non profit organization,... but I learned to be prayerful and careful, and double check with my husband before adding anything to my plate.

Three Steps to help us prioritize:

a. Stop trying to please everyoneLearn to Say "No". I am still learning this. Michael Hyatt has a podcast titled, How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty, which has helped me tremendously. 

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.” Stephen Covey

b. Determine our priorities.
If we don't set our priority then someone else will determine how we should spend our time.
Crystal wrote this  post titled Time Management: Determine What Your Priorities Are "Everyone’s list of priorities is going to look different because we’re all different with different family situations, different needs, different commitments, different struggles and different strengths and weaknesses. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. And what works in one season of our life might not work at all in another season."

Here is my list of priorities and things I do at this season of my life:
Maintain close relationship with God, husband, family, and friends
Cook or bake almost everyday
Teach my own kids
Teach Sunday School
Help teaching preschoolers once a week
Keep my home fairly clean and organized
Manage our finance
Read books and listen to podcast, ...

Things I don't do:
I don't garden,
I don't have pet,
I don't sew my own or my kids' clothes,
I don't knit, I don't crochet, I don't even know the different between those two,
I don't coupon,
I don't do any home, car, or computer maintenance, {so grateful for my handy hubby who takes care of these}
I don't do cake decorating,
I don't do craft, except very simple one like painting our pumpkins instead of carving them,
I don't keep a sparkling clean home,
I don't call people often but I am working on it, ....
image source

c. Find out our passion and gifts and focus on doing things we are good at instead of beating our selves for doing things we are not so good at. 

I love what Tsh, the founder of The Art of Simple wrote on this post: Do what you love 
"I don’t apologize for being a writer, because that’s how God made me, and there’s no reason to justify His creativity. I’ll bet He made you for something, too, and you don’t need to feel sheepish about it.
Perhaps you’re good at sewing, and you light up inside at the hum and whir of your sewing machine. Maybe you’re a runner, and you feel God’s pleasure when you do it. You might be the absolute perfect parent for the children you’ve been given, and there’s something they need that only you can provide in your unique way.
Whatever it is, don’t wish it away. Be happy with how you’re made. And then exercise that gift. Share it with the rest of us."