Courtesy In Our Closest Relationships

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Taken from the book: Love as a Way of Life - Gary Chapman

Courtesy In Our Closest Relationships

Never speaks for each other.
When you speak for someone, you are circumventing her individuality.

Listen to each other empathetically.
When I am listening empathetically, I am trying to understand not only what my spouse is saying but also how he/ she is feeling.

Ask for what you want.
"I wish my husband would do something special for my birthday."
"Have you told him that is what you wish?"
"No. If I have to tell him, then it doesn't mean as much."
"The chances of your husband reading your mind are slim. God didn't give most husbands the gift of mind reading."

When you have a conflict, focus on finding a solution rather than on winning.
When I win, my spouse loses. It's not much fun to live with a loser.

Make requests, not demands.
Demanding something of my wife makes me a slave driver and her a slave.

Before you make a request for change, give your spouse two or three compliments.
"I like you. I appreciate you. I respect you."

Once a failure has been confessed and forgiven, never bring it up again.
We cannot erase failures, but we can forgive them. Once they are forgiven, there is no value in raising the issue again

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32