Reminder for parents of young kids

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Last Sunday, we had a Parents Teachers Meeting at Max's Chinese School. His loving Godly teachers played the song below:

and shared some important parenting wisdom:
 1. Cherish the window of opportunity. We only have limited time: 13 years, maximum 18 years when they depend on us to nurture, influence, and impart wisdom and love in their life. For dads, it's important to balance family and work. We can do anything but we can't do everything. Spend time nurturing and playing with your kids while they are young is a very wise investment.

2. Focus on Emotion Quotient development
Academic can be built up efficiently later. Studies found that one year High School can catch up all three years one learned in middle school but emotional deficiency in childhood may pay high price in adulthood. e.g. anger, insecurity, emotionally unstable, etc

3. Steps we can take to build or nurture their EQ
a. Get to know and seek to understand your kids. Each one has different personality, learning style, strength, and weakness. Speak their "love languages" to fill their love tank.
b. Help them label/ identify their emotion: joy, angry, sad, fear. For example: separation anxiety (sad or fear?); crying after conflict (anger or sad?)
c. Prepare them. Develop a daily routine and stick to it. Be consistent. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Keep your promises. Don't say something that you won't follow through. For example: you are at a party or play date and your kid snatched the other kid's toy. Do not say, "One more time you do that, we will go home." if you don't intend to follow through what you said.
d. Give them choices. Don't ask: "Do you want some veggies?" but instead "Do you want broccoli or spinach?"
e. Last but not least Pray for your kids, for your spouse, for yourself, for wisdom, love, patience, and joy. Give them grace.

I am closing this post with this poem titled: “To My Grown-Up Son”, by Alice E. Chase (March 8, 1986). I wonder if it should be titled "To mothers of little children" instead

My hands were busy through the day,
I didn’t have much time to play
The little games you asked me to,
I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d wash your clothes; I’d sew and cook,
But when you’d bring your picture book
And ask me, please, to share your fun,
I’d say, “A little later, son.”

I’d tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door,
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, and years rush past,
A little boy grows up so fast,
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,
There are no children’s games to play,
No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now lie still,
The days are long and hard to fill,
I wish I might go back and do,
The little things you asked me to.